Our Inner Voice

Few months ago I started job hunting again, and without much luck I couldn’t find anything. I was trying to stay positive, yet I also started to worry and doubt myself.

As I was searching for a full time job, the idea of freelancing also grew on me. I started reading articles of people working freelance as their full time job, and learning more from a close friend who also does freelance work. I used to think freelancing is insecure and all my free time would go to doing extra work. But suddenly the idea didn’t seem so bad anymore, and I allowed myself to become more open to it.

Within a couple weeks, I got a freelance copywriting job through a friend’s referral. I found it quite fun, both the company and this job was refreshing to me. Few weeks later when this job is almost done, they called and asked if I would be interested to work part time for their company until I find a permanent position. I did have some hesitation, but this time I will not let my conscious mind take over. Instead I decided to do it and who knows what may come out of it.

It is amazing how opening myself up created new opportunities. It’s now been a bit over a month working part time in this company, and I started to receive more freelance work on the way.

During these few months I’ve learned to be patient, stay positive, and just take it a day at a time. And for 2012, my resolution is to be able to enjoy the present, be able to go with the flow, and simply just take it as it comes and enjoy the process while I’m in it.

I have lived and studied in the US for a long time, and moved back to Hong Kong for about 10 years now, where I was originally from. It took me a couple of years to get adjusted, and then it was all good. But I do have off and on feelings about this place. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. And recently, I feel stuck here and not liking this place much.

As usual, when I feel unhappy and gloomy, my mind wanders. I started to blame, think of all the what-ifs, and my negative feelings only grow bigger when I pile them all up together.

It was then I got a “message” while I was out this past weekend. My friends and I were having drinks, and I couldn’t help but listened to this guy a table over, talking about his move from San Francisco. He was saying how he misses the place, the people, the pace, etc. And when his friend asked him, “Do you like it here more or back in San Francisco?” Without hesitation, he said “San Francisco.” Then his friend asked, “But right now, are you happy?” He said, “Yes, I believe happiness is in your mind. I already have all the basic things people need and more, so yes, I am happy. Maybe there’s a reason why I need to be here for a while. And perhaps I can move elsewhere later. And like I said, it’s all in the mind, if I’m positive and happy in my mind, then I am happy.”

After listening to him, I felt an “aha” moment. It is a concept that I should already be familiar with, and yet I can’t think of that when I was bogged down with all these negative emotions. I take this as a message from the Universe for me to stay grounded. There’s a reason for everything, and there’s a reason why I am here. I can be happy if I choose to be, and allow my mind to receive this happiness. And probably I need to be more grateful for everything that I have.

For those of you out there, whether you’re having trouble with your career, relationship, or simply like me at a stage in your life where you feel stuck. Do try to open up and listen to your surroundings, you may just pick up valuable messages that can turn your emotions around.